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Once you’ve decided which direction you’d want to go in, begin with a toy that will allow you to explore and be playful. Playing together is when you go into a sexual experience with the understanding that pleasure is the focus, not orgasms. Pleasure means paying attention to your partner and noticing how they are breathing, if they are smiling, and if they are showing additional signs that they are interested in the activity. Side note– couples therapy can be a great place to learn, or relearn, the physical tells that your partner is interested or finding pleasure in something. The sex toy industry is currently estimated at $29 billion, and it’s forecasted to reach roughly $52 billion come 2026. Sex toys are everywhere, and there are only going to be more of them.

You and your buddy might both be tops, or you might be a side. Or maybe you just don’t have time to prepare for penetration - and we get it. That shouldn’t stop you from making a connection when the moment hits. “Our bodies’ natural bacterial balance can easily be thrown off by the foreign bacteria lodged in the crevices of toys or food,” Switzer says. You don’t get to know whether you’re making a mistake by opening up the relationship, or by keeping it closed. Some couples break up over nonmonogamy, others over monogamy, and still more over issues that had nothing to do with the relationship structure.

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