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If you are not interested in the patterns, cycling through this hodgepodge of settings to find your desired level of vibration can be confusing. If you wish to use a lubricant with your toy (as experts often recommend), keep in mind that only water-based lube is safe to use with all types of toys. Oil-based lubricants are not just unsafe for use with condoms but can also interact badly with toys made of soft plastic or rubber, causing the devices to disintegrate or to leach chemicals (PDF). Silicone lubricants are great for anal play, but unfortunately they interact negatively with silicone toys. The presence of possibly toxic chemicals in sex toys has been a source of significant concern in the sex-toy-aficionado community. Sex toys are not well researched—beyond this study by the Swedish Chemicals Agency—or regulated by any consumer-safety agencies.

Embarking on a journey of sexual health and wellness is not just about products