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I had convinced myself that passion and lust were for younger people and that part of my life was over, but with this partner, I was having incredibly open, honest, fun, and exciting sex. We were completely comfortable with each other and asked for what we needed, explored each other’s kinks, and took care of each other. He told me he loved me and promised me a life together, but in the least surprising cliche ever, he balked at actually committing to a relationship when my divorce was finalized, and he’s gone now.

From air pressure technology to pulsating technology, and the embracing of AI and Virtual Reality technology in toys, sex tech has made leaps and bounds. Knight suggests the excitement of having new things to try may be the reason why so many of us are swapping out vibrators for other options. And this makes sense, since massage wands were never invented for women in the first place.

Sex toys, especially men’s sex toys, have evolved way behind cock rings and basic masturbators. These days, there are toys for every flavor of sexual interest and activity. Knowing which ones to buy starts with knowing what’s available. Some of the household sex toys we recommend here aren’t specifically designed for skin contact (think candles, vegetables, and ice).

There are plenty of other sex toys you can put your penis into to masturbate. Like the name suggests, you pop it in and keep it there, like a plug. Butt plugs aren’t designed to hit one specific spot, the way prostate massagers are—they’re great for generally stimulating the anus and rectum and delivering that satisfying sensation of “fullness.” A dildo is a non-vibrating phallic-shaped toy designed for penetration.

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